THERE IS A SHARK, BUT THERE ISN'T A SHARK.

resort-tocannibalism:

Why does everyone rave and get all hyped up over little things? Like remember when Britney Spears shaved her head? And everyone went ape shit for like a few months? And now nothing? What the fuck was the point of having heart attacks over this and calling her mentally unstable like no one gives a fuck now

Because Britney is a flawless queen and haters will fucking deal xoxo

worb:

to stop kids from doing drugs they should just give the drugs less cool names

if ecstasy was called “moist curdle” i can assure you that nobody would be interested in trying it

3dgftw:

nnooo you can’t have bicycle for your birthday, bicycle DOES NOT EXIST.  you get homocycle or heterocycle.

releasethedoves:

i probably know 12 things total but 8 of them are about bands

knifefarty:

when u Dad com home and make hte lasagna

lordjon:

we accept the nudes we think we deserve

reallylameblog:

im pretty angry that im not making out with anybody right now

ectobiologist:

I’m sorry dad we can’t live here anymore there is a bug in here

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

she wears short skirts i wear the same pair of jeans every day

zackisontumblr:

captainoftoast:

Zack is literally the gayest gay to ever gay gay gay gay

wolfintestine:

♡ you can still buy bongs on etsy ♡

lztybrn:

remember way back in 2006 when the wii first came out and then the entirety of the world forgot how to hold onto something with a firm grasp so much that nintendo had to make a shock absorbing condom just so that tvs wouldnt get destroyed when people would end up sending this thing flying at their tvs at 900 miles per hour

blastortoise:

*stubs toe*

suklaaaa:

bunnyinafez:

iwantfitbody:

madamedepompador:

winchesterwolves:

moniker-padacklyte:

zillystring:

wasereborworthit:

mellowminty:

pizzaforpresident:

petition to rename the usa ‘south canada’

what about alaska

are we then normal canada

canada a bit to the left

What about South America? Is that just America? Or South South Canada?

i cried my ass of laughing

WARM CANADA

i caN’T BREATHE OH MY GOD

precumming:

vveeknds:

precumming:

when porn quality is so bad you cant tell if you are watching people having sex or animals 

does it matter

yes because what if its two people having sex that is disgusting 

davnnh:

BE

MA

OOH LA

HEY Y’ALL, I’M BACK FROM ORLANDO.

witneyhouston:

dont post ur crushes unless im in them

actually dont post anything unless its about me 

10880-malibu-point-california:

awkwardrabbit:

failstun:

tltty:

hot waiters make me nervous & forget what i want to order

they are the order

I’d like a piece of that ass

no one should ever let us outside